When I First Held You

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Will preface this by saying that I got this ARC in exchange for an honest review, so thank you very much to NetGally! Fremont ( After Long Silence, 1999) continues—and alters—her story of how memories of the Holocaust affected her family. Realising they each know only half of the other’s story, Jimmy and Judith finally break the silence that tore apart what might have been their family. Amid heartbreak and hope, how much can now be mended? Jimmy and Judith re-meet fifty years on via Judith’s ‘Mending Shop’ which fixes broken treasures. In Glasgow of the 1960s they first meet as antinuclear protesters and fall in love. Unfortunately, the story is to be no fairytale and Judith especially still carries the burden from those days. Can the story be fixed and mended and become something to treasure in their later years? Judith’s had a good life. She’s now in her 70s, a retired social worker, but desperately grieving her life-long partner Catherine. She continues to mend things, just as Catherine wanted, but there is a hole in her life.

Take a Look at Our Summary of November Highlights, Whether You're Looking for the Latest Releases or Gift InspirationThis is the story of Judith and James, members of the Scottish Committee of 100, an anti-war group formed by members of the CND, who fell in love in the 1960s in Glasgow. Their lives are upended when their squat is raided and James is sent to prison. Without a word from James, pregnant Judith has no choice but to go to an unmarried mothers’ home and give up her baby. They meet again fifty-six years later, when James walks into Judith’s shop and starts unravelling the past. It’s hard to express how much I adored When I First Held You. It’s powerful, raw, emotional and totally outstanding. You’ll find it hard to read a more impactful book this year. When I First Held You is a magnificent book written by the genius writer that is Anstey Harris. Do not miss it. About Anstey Harris

In 1960s Glasgow, anti-nuclear activists Judith and Jimmy fall in love. But their future hopes are dashed when their protestors’ squat is raided and many, including Jimmy, are sent to prison. Pregnant and with no word from Jimmy, Judith is forced to enter an unmarried mothers’ home, give up their baby and learn to live with her grief. You can’t change the past, Ruby, no one can. But the purpose of being alive is to curate the future. It’s our responsibility.” Slowly they learn each other half of the story, learn to mend themselves and what could have been their family. I very much enjoyed this book which reminded me in style of the nooks of David Nicholls .The author has a flowing prose style that made the book a relaxing east read Jimmy and Judith fall in love, but when Jimmy is sent away to prison, Judith finds herself in an unwed mothers home. Flashforward to 50 years in the future, and Judith and Jimmy find each other again and must mend their broken ties and try to forgive each other, and themselves. While Ruby's relationship with her adoptive parents is wholesome, and but ultimately she needs to find where she really came from.Above all else, the word that When I First Held You most brings to mind is honesty. The stories these characters have to tell resonate with heartbreaking truth that is impossible to deny.

James having an affair seemed extremely anticlimatic and it wasn't hinted at even in the slightest. I greatly enjoyed this story, alternately told from the perspectives of Judith and her granddaughter, Ruby. Judith and James had been young and in love in the 1960s as fellow activists against nuclear weapons. Judith discovers she is pregnant, but before she is able to tell James, there is a raid, arrests are made, and they are separated with no way to find each other again. Judith has her baby in a Catholic run home for unwed mothers, and her baby is taken and given up for adoption without her consent. Judith carries this trauma with her but heals while in a loving relationship with artist Catherine Rolf. After Catherine’s death 50 years later, Judith is alone, but her solitude is shattered by the reappearance of James. They discover a biological granddaughter, Ruby, and finally begin to uncover all of the past. It’s partly that I haven’t shared this time with her – I have missed it and it can never be replayed. But it’s more than that – it’s the secrets and the joys. The memories of the conversations, the holidays, even the dark moments: none of which are mine.’ The characters in this book are beautiful. I loved how the story was told, how things unfolded, and how the plot moved between the past and the present. The character narration was vivid, emotional, and honest.Then, following news coverage about the work of the Mending Shop, Judith's fragile progress is shattered by the appearance of someone from the dark days of her past - Jimmy McConnell. The man she last saw in 1960s Glasgow, when he was dragged away from the squat where she and other anti-nuclear protesters lived, to be sent to prison. The man who left her pregnant with no option but to enter a mother and baby home and give up her much wanted daughter for adoption. The man who betrayed her. From the very first sentence of an Anstey Harris book the reader knows they are about to encounter something very special indeed and When I First Held You is no exception. It’s fabulous. It’s breath-taking. It’s exceptional. I wrote Judith and Penny’s story to give me – and the half a million like me – a voice, and to remind those of you who have not been through this that it is an inhumanity we must never return to.’

The characterisation is outstanding and you can visualise all with ease. Ruby who we are introduced to in the present day is a breath of fresh air and helps James but especially Judith to lay some ghosts to rest. There is not one unlikable character which makes a very refreshing change!! As the novel reaches its conclusion it’s hard not to shed a tear. It’s an emotional and at times heartbreaking but equally heartwarming read which I thoroughly enjoy.That said, some of the writers seemed much better than others. Benjamin Percy, who I now want to read every book he's ever written, has, in my mind, the best piece in this book, and mostly because it's about himself. I think what a lot of what was missing in this book is just how much the father themselves is affected as a human being, and his piece, "Your Own Worst Enemy," felt the realest to me. I may just be saying that since I'm not technically a father yet, and I still cling to the notion that being a father doesn't mean you lose being an individual, but the writing for that piece felt the cleanest and the best-written, while some other pieces in this book don't feel as interesting or honest. It is written in beautifully compelling and lyrical prose. Judith is clearly a kind loving and generous person, grieving for her partner Catherine, her work entwined with her memories. Each father is a contemporary acclaimed writer. I personally was only familiar with a handful of the authors, and most of that exposure was unfortunately not favorable. Lev Grossman comes off just as crass as his novels. Justin Cronin has the longest essay, not surprising given how wordy his novel The Passage was. Since all the authors are "literary" authors the essays tend to be a bit esoteric at points, feeling as if they are trying too hard to sound important when the topic itself is important enough. finally I can see this book making a beautiful film or tv series and suspect the rights will be snapped up Just wow! This book is one that I will remember and keep in my memory. The words, Judith and Jimmy, their story, it’s a keeper and deserves to be read by everyone!